Special Supplement Edition of The 'Gram
May 30, 1998
The Second Annual Vegas Bash was a roaring success! So successful, in fact, that we've decided to make Vegas an annual event! Those of you who can't make it to Vegas, fear not -- we'll still be doing one bash a year at a rotating location
(Nawlins is the most likely candidate for later this year). However, a Vegas Parlor Bash will be held annually. There are several reasons for this -- Vegas is a great place to have a bash, it's fairly inexpensive once you get there (unless the lure of the tables it too much for you to handle <g>), and it's a convenient place for those all over the country to get to. As we continue with these yearly Vegas bashes, we hope to see more and more of you there each year!
There were several surprises at this year's Vegas bash. On Wednesday evening, a storm hit Las Vegas, and lightning struck a transformer, plunging the entire Palace Station Hotel and Casino into total darkness (Baron, don't worry...those bruises on your arm should clear up soon -- I really am afraid of the dark ;D). A generator kicked in shortly afterwards, but with only enough juice to power the slots and the barest minimum of lights. Card keys didn't work in the room doors, so we were basically shut out of our rooms until power could be restored. Luckily, the cigarette girls do indeed carry Virginia Slims 120's...
The Friday night cocktail party also yielded several surprises, the first being the announcement of O Nette and MegaSnert's engagement and upcoming wedding this October. However, wherever she buys her wedding dress, my guess is that Nette won't look nearly as curvacious as MJones when he emerged from the office of the banquet room wearing Hunnychile's bra, stuffed with spotlights. Before the bash, Lattigo indicated his quest to learn to unsnap a bra with one hand -- so Mikey was happy to help him accomplish this. Only last I saw, Latt still needed to use two hands...and could certainly use a lot more practice. Any offers for next year?
For a more detailed description of the bash activities, you'll find a recap below, written by the Bash mascot, Benny the Bull. We've also got lots of other good stuff in store for y'all...so let's get to it!
~ TOP TEN SURPRISES TO A BASH NEWBIE ~
by NIKKIPAIGE
From the home office in the Golden Nugget Hotel in downtown Las Vegas...
10. SusanB26a actually WANTED to spend her birthday with Parlor pals!
9. Hunnychile REALLY did lose all the money she showed up with...not through gambling or paying for a "professional escort" from the Really Awesome Dudes Ranch.
8. Courtzie sleeps with a real animal every night...a redhead (but he's a bit bull-headed).
7. MJones8135, amazingly enough, has bigger boobs than Toonces!
6. SnoopieH and Quixotik1 actually live together in real life!
5. MrJaded brought along a laptop so he wouldn't miss blowing everyone away in yet another game of Harmony.
4. Squid sure knows how to finger and squirt his pistol (if you know what I mean)!
3. Tiggerbon did NOT show up wearing black leather high-heeled boots and a whip...much to Vern's chagrin.
2. Lattigo removed the bra (with both hands, tho) of one of the Parlorites, in full view of the rest of the crew...and it wasn't me <I'm jealous>!
1. Everyone had a MARVELOUS time WITHOUT anyone getting arrested!!
~ WHAT EVERY PARLORITE LEARNED IN LAS VEGAS ~
by: Toonces464
1) Following the Wells-Fargo building will get you to the Fremont Experience.
2) In the U.S., we stop at red lights -- but Wizzrobe doesn't.
3) Never ride in the back seat of a car with SummerLove...or at least, don't try to be a backseat driver unless you have an oxygent tent nearby.
4) Don't attempt to find Snoopie. You won't.
5) Keep Quixotik or Nette nearby when you gamble -- they're both good luck.
6) Keep your purse or wallet close by at all times. If a good-looking member of the opposite sex is staring at you while you gamble, there's probably a reason, and it's not your new outfit from Sak's Fifth Avenue.
7) Waterguns in the hands of MJones, Baron and Viallynor are dangerous things.
8) Lattigo cannot unsnap a bra with one hand...he needs two.
9) With enough goading, the Parlorites *can* meet a bar minimum.
10) Bulls are allowed in places mere humans couldn't begin to imagine.
11) While waiting for your room to be ready, there are some really comfortable chairs right outside the gift shop at Palace Station...unless Ms Jeanne and Dolfan get there first.
12) If you arrive at the bash late and aren't sure which group are the Parlor folks, just sidle up to any large group and eavesdrop...eventually, e-mail or IMs will be mentioned, and you'll know you've found the right group.
13) Squiddie is not homeless...he just likes to pretend he is.
14) If your birthdays falls during the bash, you *will* be embarassed publicly.
15) If you're offered financial rewards for giving up your seat on the flight home, be sure there's another flight out to your destination within the same week.
16) The best landmark/meeting place is VSCLEM -- you can see him over just about anything.
17) There is edible food in Las Vegas other than Wendy's.
18) Electronic room keys do not work during a blackout. Be sure to have alternate actvities (and enough cigarettes) in the event you're blacked out of your room for any length of time.
19) Waking up in bed with Squiddie is not a bad thing.
20) Waking up Toonces for breakfast is.
~ BENNY THE BULL'S LAS VEGAS ADVENTURE ~
by Benny the Bull, as told to Courtzie
"Bulls are allowed in places mere humans couldn't begin to imagine." -- Toonces464
Since there were numerous comments after last year's bash regarding the lack of publicly posted pictures, Benny decided he wouldnt mind if *his* picture was splattered all over the Internet, so he went along to be our "official Bash mascot" (or maybe just my "official traveling companion" - I'm not sure which). Unfortunately, Benny had such a great time that he can't afford to develop all his pictures until some of the gambling losses can be
re-couped. So for now, a written story will have to do.
Day One: Wednesday May 13, 1998
6:00 AM
Holy cow - these flights out west sure do leave early in the morning! Now we understand why Starbucks locations are all over the airport grounds!! But luckily, we did make it to the airport on time and had very little trouble actually getting out there.
10:00 AM
It was quite a shock to get off the plane and realize that it was really much colder here in the desert than it had been when we left Chicago! Having very little to do until others began arriving, we decided to sit in on the free blackjack lessons they offer at Palace Station. It was actually quite interesting - we got a free deck of house cards and a chance to actually see the nifty little mirror the dealers use to check their hands for a blackjack (it didnt really seem to help our game though).
3:00 PM
Toonces & Snazzey arrive and we finally check into our room. What a view! Facing north towards the Strip -- awesome, especially after dark!
8:00 PM
Back to the bar to watch the Bulls game. The tip-off approaches when...hmmm...it's suddenly very dark and quiet. No windows in a casino. We soon learn that a storm is brewing outside and a generator has been hit, plunging the whole south end of the Strip into total darkness. OK, fine. Up to our room to watch the game...except the card keys won't work during a power outage. ;/ When the power is finally restored, we rush upstairs to watch the game...only to find that SportsChannel isn't carried in the rooms. So much for watching the game.
2:00 AM
::rustle::rustle::rustle:::murmur:::murmur::: What *is* that?? There's Toon and there's Snazz and there's....someone....who is that??? Oh wait, she's pulling a Pooh honeypot hat outta her suitcase. Well, this could only be the infamous Hunnychile!! But now we have four bodies and three sleeping spaces - what to do? Call housekeeping!! The maid shows up with a rollaway bed, but sees someone already sleeping on a rollaway. "Oh, I can't let you keep this" she says, "it's a fire hazard!" After a $10 tip from Toonces, she realized just what time it was and said "Oh, what the heck" and left it anyway. So, now, there's a spare bed for guests and other hangers-on, as long as they don't object to being a fire hazard.
Day Two: Thursday May 14, 1998
1:00 PM
Lunch at the Cheesecake Factory - awesome food, WaitressSpice was an interesting twist as our server, and we met the Napkin Boys. Blew the rest of the afternoon wandering through Caesar's Palace. Whadda place!
7:00 PM
Off to the Rio for the "all you can scarf" buffet. It's like being turned loose in the food court of big mall! But we didnt stay too long, as this is the evening of the final Seinfeld episode and so back to the hotel and our Seinfeld party. IT'S MOOPS!!!
Day Three: Friday May 15, 1998
1:00 PM
Off to see the sites at the southern end of the Strip with Courtzie, Toonces and Summie. Had pictures taken with the clowns at Circus Circus - but then they got distracted signing up for those damn slot machine cards...
7:00 PM
The Cocktail Party!! There was, of course, the traditional presentation of official Lattigo S.P.I.R.M. t-shirts. Quite an interesting picture on them this year (I'm sure Toonces cant wait to wear hers!) In return for the maginificent shirts, it seemed only appropriate that Lattigo's reason for coming to Vegas was fulfilled - so MJones donned Hunny's bra, stuffed it with spotlights found in the storeroom, and rejoined the crowd to let Latt practice unsnapping a bra with one hand (he failed). Hunnychile provided water guns as bash favors. I'm sure the cleanup crew didn't think much of them, but they sure were fun!
Once we managed to cover the expected bar tab after much prodding from Nette, quite a few folks piled into cars to go to the downtown area and see something called "The Fremont Experience". Unfortunately, *someone* forgot that bulls are people too and left me behind ;/
Day Four: Saturday May 16, 1998
9:00 AM
Somebody thought we'd be up at some sort of normal time in the morning. Fool!!!!!
12:30 PM
Off to the northern end of the Strip to see NYNY, which had a great rollercoaster but they discriminate against bulls :( We also went across the street to the M&M World store - never seen so many oddly colored M&Ms before!!
7:00 PM
After meeting up with some more folks back the hotel, off we went to The Mirage for their buffet!! Holy cow!! MrJaded really *will* eat something besides Wendy's!!
After supper, we wandered through their massive casino and saw one of the white tigers.
How beautiful!!
10:00PM
Found a blackjack table and took it over - seven Parlor players and an dealer named Kirk who is also an AOL member <bg> Didn't do so hot at the money-winning part but the company was excellent.
3:00 AM
We actually have another volunteer for the "fire hazard bed" this evening. Squiddie decided it was just the place for him (I wonder if those straps had anything to do with that?)
Day Five: Sunday May 17, 1998
10:00 AM
WHAT??? Its already 10:00?? We have to be at the brunch by 10:30!! Eeeekk!! A chance to say goodbye to everyone who was leaving, though it turned out quite a few folks weren't leaving until later, so back out and around the town.
1:00 PM
The Hard Rock Cafe - I think this is one of the coolest places in Vegas and well worth getting over to, even though it's off the Strip proper. The rock and roll memorabilia in there alone is cool, but the slot machines with "rock" themes were just great!!
3:00pm
Off to the Excalibur/Luxor - two more really nifty places just due to their themes.
Personally, I liked the Luxor better with it's Egyptian theme.
5:00 PM
Back to Palace Station to say goodbye to some more of the folks leaving (and return their luggage, which was in our trunk). The rest of the evening was spent in the Palace Station casino, wandering from tables to slots and just enjoying our last day in Vegas.
11:30 PM
Off to the airport to go home <sigh> Oh, look - we are on the same flight as Paige!! It's nice to travel with some company.
1:00 AM
After we get boarded, they announce that they are overbooked and are looking for volunteers. They said they were offering $600, a room for the nite then a flight the next day at 7. We should have asked some more questions at this point before getting up for what seemed like the deal of the century. We wound up de-boarding and waiting for an hour for the airline agents to decide what to do with all of us. But finally, they tell us whats up - and what a surprise that was! A $600 travel voucher good for *one* ticket, the hotel was the charming HoJos on the airport grounds and the flight wasn't until 4pm the next afternoon. Wait!! This ain't what i signed up for!! But at this point there isn't much else to do except deal with it.
Day Six (the unexpected day): May 18, 1998
9:00 AM
Well, we're up anyway, so we decide to try begging the airlines for an earlier flight. They were happy to oblige us - with a flight arriving at its final destination over an hour later than the flight we were already scheduled on. So, it's an interesting day of ambling about McCarran International Airport. Certainly a great deal of very interesting people to watch moving through that airport.
3:30 PM
Finally time to begin boarding to go home!! At this point, this is a very happy thing!
As we check in, we discover that they have again overbooked the flight. However, at this point, we have learned air travel rule #1 - dont get off the plane!!
10:30 PM CST
Finally home!! And a chance to meet up with our luggage again, which had made the trip to Chicago the night we didn't. Next year, I'm telling Courtzie to leave me at home.
~ TOP TWELVE THINGS OVERHEARD IN VEGAS ~
By Snazzey
For those folks who couldn't be at the Bash, just add these sayings to your vocabulary, and you'll sound like one of the natives! :D
Bonus #1:
Y'Okay Steph?!?!
This is a quote from Courtz who, bless her heart, yelled it every time we went down a vertical drop or sailed through some loop on the NYNY rollercoaster.
Bonus #2:
Where Were *You* When The Lights Went Out?
Some of us had the unbelievable experience of being a casino during a complete power outage...one for the record books!
Bonus #3:
I Wanted Banana!
While MrJaded was vewwy, vewwy bwave at the Mirage Buffet, lemon pie was a little bit more than he bargained for!
NOW FOR THE REAL COUNTDOWN!!
12) It's *MOOPS*!!!
Who could forget we were in Vegas for the final episode of Seinfeld and our very own bye-bye Seinfeld party??
11) I Don't Know A *Thing* About Craps!
This seemed to be the guarantee for big craps winnings. No matter who it was, if they said this and then spent more than 10 minutes at the craps table...jackpot!!
10) I Need A Card From Here!
I want you all to meet Toonces, the slot slut...who now has a frequent gambler card for every hotel we passed within 100 yards of that weekend! ;)
9) We're On Vacation!
This was our catchphrase for avoiding anything that resembled a schedule! Who wants to be on a schedule ON VACATION?!
8) OK, Folks...We're Almost There...
Poor Nette...she must have said these words 20 or 30 times as we were trying frantically to make the bar quota at the cocktail party/dinner. Have another drink?? ::hic::
7) It's A Benny Photo-Op!
Probably the most photographed person...errr...thing the whole weekend was Courtzie's own Benny the Bull...who had a knack for getting himself into the strangest places...with a crowd of handmade napkin boys, with Caesar, a clown...down Hunny's shirt???? === :o
6) SomewhatLoud
You know.. the blackjack dealer extraordinaire at our hotel provided a lot of laughs. We were making introductions at the table once we found out he was on AOL...and when Summie gave her name, he grinned at the table and said, "More like SomewhatLoud!" How'd he get her number so soon?? ;)
5) Ding Dong Ditch 'Em
A little game some of us learned while playing musical car rides! Do you have any idea how hard it is to organize five cars and multiple parlorites??
4) In The U.S., We Stop At Red Lights!
Poor Wizzy...he just felt he had to live up to that little red sportscar he rented...zipping in an out of traffic, squealing those tires...but when he went roaring up to that stoplight on Sahara without giving ANY indication he was gonna stop...sending his passengers into an absolute panic!!!!! Well...he did stop...and Toon couldn't help herself. ;)
3) Vern...The Other White Meat
There was Vern...making small talk with that dealer at the blackjack table. There were introductions all around, and for some reason, the way that dealer said "Vern" just sounded like those pork commercials, you know?? And I couldn't help it...it just slipped out!! The dealer himself called this one the quip of the night! <g>
2) Look At Those Headlights!
This starts with a wild statement Latt made about coming to Vegas to learn to unfasten a bra with one hand...and Hunnychile who came across a bra with *five* hooks while she was unpacking...and MJones who made the perfect lingerie model with something *extra* to fill those shoes...errrr...cups, and a perfect lesson for Mr. Lattigo. (Well, okay, they were actually spotlights... but who's keeping track? <g>)
1) Where's Snoopie?
We thought Snoopie was there! We have pictures of her at the cocktail party and the brunch...so we know she actually survived the plane trip, but in between...we never knew!
~ BASH BEST/WORST AWARDS ~
Here are the results of the bash survey, as voted by the attendees:
Best Hotel: Palace Station
Best Casino: Hard Rock
Best Dealer/Spinner/Craps Roller: Kirk from Nevada
Luckiest Gambler: TermedSumo
Best Non-Gambling Attraction: Fremont Experience
Best Drinks: The Free Ones
Worst Drinks: The Paid Ones
Best Food: Mirage Buffet
Worst Food: There is no such thing
Best Bash Quote: "Where's Snoopie?"
Best Dressed: NIKKIPAIGE
Parlorite Who Looked Most Like You Expected: Paige M673
Parlorite Who Looked Least Like You Expected: Quixotik1
Parlorite Most Likely To Get A Job In Vegas: Squiddie, of course
Parlorite Most Missed Not Being In Vegas: EweBet
Parlorite That Kept You ROFLYAO: TIE: Hunnychile/Courtzie
Parlorite Most Likely To Stay Up for 24 Hours With No Sleep and Still Be Human: Snazzey
Parlorite With the Most Pleasant Morning Disposition: TIE: SusanB26a/Wizzrobe
Parlorite With the Least Pleasant Morning Disposition: Toonces464 (hmph)
Parlorite Most Likely To Be Found Sitting Around the Lobby: Ms Jeanne
Most Memorable Bash Moment: Lattigo attempting to remove a bra from the body of MJones with one hand
Most Surprising Bash Moment: MJones showing his face in public wearing Hunny's bra
Best Place To Have The Next Bash: Las Vegas, hands down!
Most Charming Male: VSCLEM
Most Charming Female: SummerLove
King Of The Bash: MJones8135
Queen Of The Bash: Toonces464
Best Part of the Bash: Friday night get-together
Worst Part of the Bash: Hunny's fannypack getting stolen
~ TOP TEN THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN VEGAS ~
By MJones8135
From the home office at the paying blood bank in the lobby of Palace Station...
10. Lattigo was the first visitor to Vegas to be promised a free sex show and actually get one.
9. Some dumbass decided that water guns would go good with chicken.
8. O Nette had some new jewelry appraised just in case her money ran out.
7. Dolfan learned that craps is no substitute for a good paying job.
6. Wizzrobe felt stupid when he found out Keno was not included in the price of his breakfast.
5. Toonces just felt stupid.
4. MegaSnert, overcome by the excess oxygen in the casino, made the mistake all men try to never make.
3. Hunnychile had a laundry mix-up and is missing a bra.
2. MJones8315, while still considered to be a pre-op, has decided to change his name to Madonna and make an appearance on "The Jerry Springer Show".
1. Ms Jeanne missed all the fun!
~ GAME PARLOR HOTEL AND CASINO ~
By Quixotik1 and Snazzey
While attending the Vegas bash, each of the Parlorites adopted their very own hotel and casino...
Barbary Coast - Maegan - our fair heroine was carried off here by the charmingly dashing Viallynor where she soon had the entire place catering to her every whim
Caesar's Palace - TermedSumo - one of the forgotten Ceasars?
Circus Circus - MJones, Lattigo and Squiddie - three ringmasters for three rings.
El Cortez - Courtzie and her Bull - ole!!
Excalibur - Quixotik - but what is the quest?
Flamingo - Snazzey - she stood around with pink cheeks.
Four Queens - Fun2B43, JanKK, Striker1A and SusanB26a - benignly superior
Fremont - MrJaded - an intrepid explorer at the Mirage Buffet.
Golden Nugget - NIKKIPAIGE - hard to find, the golden one was scarce
Hard Rock - Toonces - you may be right, we may be crazy…but it just may be a slot machine she's looking for…
Lady Luck - O Nette - we heard rumors this lady rolls hot dice (and how about that rock? Woohoo!)
Las Vegas Hilton - Viallynor - unfortunately, after taking the lovely Maegan off to the Barbary Coast, Vially's interest in worlds beyond our own took him here to catch a ride on the "U.S.S. Enterprise"
Luxor - Wizzrobe - buried alive by Toonces?
Mardi Gras - TyMe2Win - she was our party girl!
Maxim - PaigeM 673 - her Brain Buster games are always full of these.
MGM Grand - MegaSnert - for his grand proposal!
Mirage - Snoopie - was she really there, or a figment of Quix's imagination?
Monte Carlo - Tiggerbon, - for general high class and deportment.
New York New York - ASpin - you can take the girl outta New York, but you can't take New York out of the girl!
Palace Station - TellTess - we suspect she and her hubby made the most of this place
Riviera - Sxyflower - where are they sexier than on the Riviera?
Sahara - Arrowflyn - he appeared and disappeared in the shifting sands
Sands - Peakbagger - like the proverbial Bedouin, moving from camp to camp with the desert winds
Showboat - Hunnychile - always looking for the proper stage!
Stardust - Ms Jeanne - now you see her, now you don't!
Stratosphere - VSCLEM - towering over the competition
Treasure Island - Baron Wo - wherever he went, he found treasure
Tropicana - Dolfan - an Orange Bowl away from home!
Westward Ho - SummerLove - traveled from the distant east
~ FEAR AND LOATHING IN LEAVING LAS VEGAS ~
by: Courtzie and Paige M673
1) Do not fly America West.
2) Possession is nine-tenths of the law. Once in an airplane seat, do not move.
3) If they offer what sounds like money, be forewarned. It isn't.
4) Small stuffed animals are good ice-breakers.
5) Seven ticket agents in one place does not mean anyone is working, much less that anyone knows what is going on.
6) If you get off the plane with a promise of a hotel room at 12:30am, and don't hear from anyone within an hour, be worried...be very worried!
7) If they say they'll put you up at a hotel, ask what hotel that will be.
8) Realize that not all taxis accept the "taxi" voucher.
9) Food vouchers do not cover the price of one airport meal, much less sustenance for 16 hours.
10) The "next available flight" that you will be rescheduled for is not necessarily soon.
11) For a critique and ranking of smokers' lounges at McCarran International Airport, please contact Courtzie.
12) A lovely collection of tchotchkes from most major casino/hotels is available at McCarran International Airport. Also, the Harley-Davidson store gets two thumbs up :)
13) Patience is a virtue, but a bitch gets home.
~ BASH ROUNDTABLE ~
by: Squid n2
Roundtable Panel: Baron Wo (BA), Hunnychile (HU), NIKKIPAIGE (NI), VSCLEM (VS)
Was there a parlorite (attendee) you would have liked to spend time one-on-one getting to know better?
BA: I would've liked to talk to Lattigo because I'm sure he's full of great stories. Also, I need to find out how to get a S.P.I.R.M. application. :)
HU: Perhaps I should tell you that the shortage of men at bashes leaves very few to one-on-one with!!!! ;)
NI: Squidn2 .... of course!
VS: There were quite a few people that I wish I could have spent more time with. The problem is that we are there for a short time, so seeing everyone regularly is very difficult. I attended the first Las Vegas bash and swore that I would spend some time with different folks on the second go-around. For the most part I was able to do that.
Did anyone at the bash surprise you, whether or not you met them before? (why?)
BA: TermedSumo, Once he learned how to play craps he was an animal.
HU: I'm kind of unflappable! ;)
NI: Toonces. She's much sweeter in person than online!
VS: Nah, no surprises this year...Lattigo was the one who surprised me a bit the year before; expected someone a lot taller...but then again, now it's no surprise how he dodges all the veggies in the parlor.
How do you feel about the bash being held in Las Vegas...do you think it should become an annual event?
BA: Vegas is a great place to meet, it's cheap to get there and stay, and there's plenty to do.
HU: Vegas is fine...next time it's a chastity fanny-pack!!!
NI: Sure. People seem to enjoy it. Would be nice, if the same people were going over and over, to maybe experience a different, new place, though.
VS: Yep, I think it should be permanent. Las Vegas as a site is great. Where else could you possibly stand hanging out with all the chimneys for that length of time? Just a lot of things to do there, it's like a huge amusement park.
What was your favorite planned or -unplanned- part of the bash?
BA: Seeing the lights go off on the strip in memory of Frank Sinatra, although we almost missed it.
HU: I dunno, I think it might have been the lessons for Latt, in brassiere removal! ;)
NI: Don't know.
VS: Calling up friends early in the morning to see what they sound like half asleep can be entertaining. Then, if you're lucky, they will actually stay on the other end of the call and you can ask them when's breakfast and what they've planned for the day. Of course, a little less abrading is hanging out with all the parlor folks at the blackjack table. Gives everyone a chance to talk *and* do what we all like to do the most....err no other than that...I'm talking about playing games :) Yes, I do prefer to think of blackjack as a game, because in that frame of mind, it's the only time I ever win any money.
Is there an event you can think of that you would like to see added to the schedule next year?
BA: The Annual MJones Lingerie Fashion Show.
HU: An event for single fat women would be right up there in the top ten! :)
NI: I enjoyed the game we played at the beginning of the evening on Friday. More games like that would be fun.
VS: Dunk the parlorite. We could set up a dunk tank and have the option of throwing bean bags at a lever-arm (which would, when struck, dunk the parlorite) or throw the bean bag directly at the person (this variation could be "dink" the parlorite) :)
~ TOP TEN PARLORITES WHO SHOULD BE AT THE NEXT BASH ~
by NIKKIPAIGE
From the home office back in Virginia...
10. Online Host - we could use him to announce people's comings and goings.
9. Kitten6969 - so she could interrupt all the fun and frivolity with her invites to porno rooms.
8. ShadowyOne - so I could fight Toonces over the honor of marrying him next time.
7. BottleSoda - for all the Parlor pals who don't imbibe in alcoholic beverages.
6. Wizz's Robe - so we could all find out for certain what, if anything, is being worn under that robe!
5. PaisleyToo - we need someone to pass out rules to the unruly crowd.
4. Matthew Broderick - we all wanna know where O Nette will stash MegaSnert for the evening.
3. MistressBon - the guys won't have to spend all their money on hookers.
2. Wheatboy - so we could grind him up and make some bread so we could all gamble a bit more!
1. ONOTES - so he could take NOTES of all the proceedings.
The BashGram™ is a special supplement to The 'Gram, the official
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