Special Supplement Edition of The 'Gram
May 28, 1999

Welcome to yet another edition of the BashGram! I'm pleased to say that the 1999 Vegas Bash was as successful as ever, and I'd like to take a moment to thank Courtzie, EweBet, LatteLady7, QueenLemmr, Snazzey, Squid n2 and SummerLove for all their help this year.

Many people have expressed a desire to hold the bashes more frequently than once a year. So, with that in mind, plans are being started for the next Game Haven bash to be held sometime in mid-to-late October. The locations being kicked about are Vegas, Nawlins and Orlando. If you're interested in attending a bash this coming October, please drop me mail and let me know, and cast your vote for where you'd like to have it. In the next week, I'll be tabulating all the votes received and will begin making plans for an October bash at whichever location receives the most votes.

Having been renovated after last year's fire and roof collapse (which, contrary to popular opinion, we had nothing to do with), the Palace Station was one again our home for the weekend -- so much so, they tried to put me in the very same room as last year ==;o. However, due to a late check-out, the room wasn't available for early check-in, and Court, Ewe and I were instead treated to a lovely view of the Stratosphere and the Vegas sunrise. And after a bit of musical hotel rooms by LatteLady, we were even more fortunate to end up with her on one side of us, and Rjaydee on the other...so Wheatie got off the hook from having to handle security this year.

We enjoyed a wonderful Thursday night dinner with a bunch of early arriving Havenites at the Rio Suites buffet, as well the start of a bunch of lost voices. The cool night air prevented us from taking our scheduled trip to Fremont Street that evening, but did allow us to squat in the lobby until the arrival of Quixotik1, who was greeted enthusiastically by his new fan club (membership runs $49.95 for one year, and includes a laminiated membership card. Please make checks payable to Tooncesjaydee). 

Armed with the keys to a little gold Chevy Cavalier convertible, we hit the Strip on Friday for our first stop -- the Hard Rock Cafe and their brand new Billy Joel casino gambling chips! We then headed over to New York New York for some of these folks to ride the famed killer roller coaster...but they were a lot safer than Courtzie and EweBet, perched on top of the back seat of the convertible, when I headed up the ramp to the hotel parking garage, oblivious to the height clearance signs hanging from the ceiling. Oops! At least neither of them would've lost very much, and it could've been worse -- had it been VSCLEM riding up there, he would've been decapitated at the kneecaps.

The best moments of the weekend, however, were to be found in the Palace Saloon, located just off the casino. The band left a lot to be desired, but that didn't stop us from making our own music (or dance floor). As I went to check out, I believe I overheard them say that popcorn will no longer be allowed in the hotel. In addition to the Palace Saloon, the TRAX nightclub, featuring the Brick House Band in their funky 70's clothes and wigs, is now open as well and the band is currently debating the addition of LatteLady as their new lead singer. I can't be sure, but I think I saw Linkdeb and YellowAlso sneak in there for a few rounds of "YMCA".

For more on the 1999 Vegas bash, keep reading! And don't forget to drop me mail and let me know where you'd like to have the October bash!

~ TOP TEN MOST OVERHEARD COMMENTS IN VEGAS ~
by a rather large group congregated in the hotel lobby Sunday evening -- Courtzie, EweBet, Fiirefitr, QueenLemmr, Quixotik1, Rjaydee, Snazzey, Toonces, Wizzrobe, and a few others I've probably forgotten and Rjay didn't write down

From the home office of the cashier selling Billy Joel casino chips in the Hard Rock...

10. Oh my God, he didn't name names, did he?

9. Did you see Jaded yet?

8. When are you leaving?

7. Wizzy...repeat after me...rule #7.

6. Are you really <insert screen name here>?

5. That's what I've been doing all weekend!

4. Where's TNT? Is she *still* looking for a karaoke bar?

3. Quiet, shy and demure ladies.

2. Bye guys...it's been real!

1. Where's Waldo??

~ TOP 15 THINGS LEARNED IN LAS VEGAS ~
by Toonces464

1) Wizzrobe learned how to spell EXIT...and that when LatteLady tells him to exit a parking garage, she means it.

2) Mr Jaded learned that going into a disco is as bad as he always feared.

3) Sotacrackr learned that if you want an iced tea, don't go to Bellagio to get it.

4) Host Roast learned that VSCLEM is really only about 5'3", and Peakbagger has brown hair -- and they look an awful lot like Toonces and EweBet.

5) PaisleyToo learned the secret of getting people to stare at her chest -- get a big tattoo of a cat on it.

6) TNTsmile learned that no matter how much you may want to, you just can't find a place to sing karaoke at 5 AM.

7) ANewLesMiz learned that women really dig Bob.

8) Lattigo learned that offering to buy the Havenites a drink can turn into an expensive proposition.

9) Snazzey learned things about popcorn that she never really wanted to know.

10) Tiggerbon learned not to give out her beeper number.

11) ChicagoGal learned to allow herself more time to catch the hotel shuttle to the airport.

12) QueenLemmr learned how to gain membership into an exclusive club.

13) Squid n2 learned that he needs to move before the next bash.

14) The Palace Saloon band learned that they need to expand their repertoire.

15) Toonces learned that mixing too much Amaretto, Bailey's and Kahlua can cause one to have to rely on Courtzie and Rjaydee to remind them what they said and did (and for help walking).

~ IMPRESSIONS OF THE VEGAS BASH: A POEM ~
by Al frm Cal

They came from near
and they came from far
some came by plane
and some came by car

From the north they came
and from the east, south and west
for some fun they came
and for friendship...but not much rest

There was Wheatboy and Wizzrobe
Queenlemmer and SeaDenise, too
and Kerrry1 and Courtzie
but alas there was no Moo

KathyMight ended up "roasted"
and Toonces had her "boots made for walkin"
LatteLady7 ended up "toasted" 
and got the whole place a rockin'

And all thru town could be heard
Escargotte's hollers
when she found a jewel-encrusted snail
that cost 20,000 dollars!

Quix and Vern hit big slot jackpots
and Kamzz learned how to play craps
and Rjaydee became the new queen
of pounding down shots and dancing on laps

There was Snazzey and Squid
and a lady named Cat
Tiggerbon, ChicagoGal
and even Host Latt

Linkie showed us all 
that she's a real good sport
and lets not forget Wolley
her cute and lovable cohort

(would everyone reading this right now please stop for just a few
minutes so Linkie can catch up? much obliged <efg> )

Mophaided was there and
Duckbunni was too
and a few of us lucky ones
saw Paisley's newest tattoo

"Bob" was being carried around
by Les who's no slacker
I also met Ewebet and Fiirftr
and even Sotacrackr

Some of us found New York
and some of us found France
some found the rollercoasters
and some found romance

We saw pirates and tigers
and so much dazzling light
and we partied all day
and all through the night

I bonded with new friends
and rebonded with old ones
The sweet, shy and meek ones
and even the bold ones

I am here to tell you
that I just can't wait
for the next Bash that's scheduled
which I'm sure will be great!

~ THINGS TO DO IN VEGAS IF YOU DON'T GAMBLE ~
By EweBet

~ BASH BEST/WORST AWARDS ~

Here are the results of the bash survey, as voted by the attendees:

Best Hotel: Bellagio

Best Casino: Palace Station

Luckiest Gambler: Quixotik1

Best Bash Souvenir: Bash t-shirts

Best View: Down the Strip in a convertible

Best Bar Moment: A group of Havenites, led by LatteLady, Rjaydee and Toonces, singing "These Boots Are Made For Walking"

Best Bash Quote: Where's Waldo??

Best Food: Mirage buffet

Worst Food: Various types of eggs

Best Drink: Diet Coke/Pepsi

Best Dressed: KAMZz

Havenite Who Looked Most Like You Expected: EweBet

Havenite Who Looked Least Like You Expected: VSCLEM

Havenite You'd Most Like To See At The Next Bash: JiLilliput

Havenite With The Best Sense Of Humor: The twins, Rjaydee and LatteLady7

Most Frequent Lobby Squatter: Tiggerbon

Mr. Congeniality: Mr Jaded

Ms. Congeniality: QueenLemmr

Joe Cool: Wizzrobe

Jane Cool: Courtzie

King Of The Bash: Al frm Cal

Queen Of The Bash: Toonces464

Most Memorable Bash Moment: All the times spent in the bar

Best Part of the Bash: Meeting everyone

Worst Part of the Bash: Going home

~ AS THE DAYS OF THE GENERAL HAVEN TURN ~
By Snazzey

Our scene opens in the dimly lit Palace Saloon at the Palace Station Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, where our Havenites are gathered around several clustered tables decorated with buckets of coins, drinks, packs of cigarettes, filled ashtrays and scattered popcorn.

Toonces464: (pouting drunkenly) I can't believe Billy Joel's not here! I even brought shot glasses from Planet Hollywood so the bartender could make us blowjobs!
Rjaydee: The hell with the blowjobs! He's the only one I haven't done a lapdance for yet! Wooohoooooo! (Standing on chair to demonstrate lapdancing technique.)
Squid n2: Photo opportunity!
LatteLady7: Do you think we can get the band to play "Fever"?
TNTsmile: If they don't, I'll bet there's a karaoke bar that has it... let's go find one! 
(Leaping up and spilling several drinks in the process)
ANewLesMiz: Can we find a restaurant that does it? I had to leave Bob in the room because he's underage, and I know he'd love karaoke.
Courtzie: (rubbing forehead) Ack! That clunk on the head Toon gave me in the NewYork, NewYork parking garage made me forget I left Erin, my good luck Beanie, in the room!
SeaDenise: Where's Quix? Last time I saw him he was conquering dragons at the blackjack table.
Toonces464: Better yet.... (in loud unison with LatteLady7, Rjaydee, EweBet, Courtzie and QueenLemmr) WHERE'S WALDO?!?!?
LatteLady7: Do you think we can get the band to play "Fever"?
HostRoast: Not until after they play something by Def Leppard or Joni Mitchell!
AlfrmCal: Did you hear the one about the blonde playing the slot machine?
KAMZz: ::giggle::
YellowAlso: (whispering) Deb... do we really know these people?
Linkdeb: (whispering back) Sadly, yes, Wolley... and I don't think we're in California anymore.
Wheatboy: (disappointedly) Is my sock monkey the only one who remembered my birthday??
Sotacrackr: (touching his arm with a smile) Wheatie, I would *never* forget such a thing!
Toonces464: ...you got a nice white dress and a party on your Confirmation...
SusanB26a: (struggling to be heard over Toonces' rendition of "Only The Good Die Young") Happy Birthday to us, happy birthday to us, happy birthday Wheatie and meeeeee... happy birthday to us! 
LatteLady7: Do you think we can get the band to play "Fever"?
KAMZz: ::giggle::

(PaisleyToo approaches the crowded table, unbuttoning the top buttons of her blouse as she approaches.) 

PaisleyToo: Hey everyone! Check out my new tattoo! 
Squid n2: (muttering) What a time for my flash not to work.
Lattigo: I brought some body art tattoos for the SPIRMettes, (handing packets to EweBet and Toonces) does anyone have any alcohol so we can apply them?
Tiggerbon: (mischeviously) Can you be more specific about the *kind* of alcohol?
Snazzey: Alcohol? Not too much, please, or I'll forget rule #1!
Wizzrobe: I'm sorry. It was all my fault. It will never happen again. Oops! That's rule #7. I'll be right back. (He stands and disappears into the casino, never to return)
Peakbagger: Is it time to ride the rollercoaster yet?
EweBet: I rode the rollercoaster once already, and *that*, my dears, was more than enough for this sleepy sheep! (yawning)

A short distance away, some of the Havenites are trying their luck at the video poker and slot machines. We zoom in to hear part of their conversation.

ChicagoGal: Please tell me that isn't our group making all that noise! If it is, I'm going to be forced to make a quick getaway!
SummerLove: I'm sorry, I couldn't hear a thing over the bells on this slot machine, what did you say?

(Three other Havenites approach, obviously attempting to escape the chaos.)

Kerrry1: Summie, we're off to the oldies concert downtown, are you coming with us?
MrJaded: (quietly but firmly) And to find a Wendy's.
QueenLemmr: We even promise to behave since we're quiet, shy and demure ladies. (batting eyelashes and grinning) Well, except MrJ, that is.
Hunnychile: Just be careful you don't make a wrong turn and end up in Arizona!
SummerLove: Go on without me, I'm enjoying the melody of these coins!
(Just then, several silver dollars crash into the payoff tray)

Back in the bar, the band has returned from a short break, and the Havenites have resumed their singalong with "Tequila".

Quixotik1: (triumphantly bounding up the steps into the bar) Here I am, fresh from my battles with the evil croupier!
Rjaydee: (in unison with Toonces464, LatteLady7, Courtzie, EweBet and Snazzey) But WHERE'S WALDO?!?!
Fiireftr: (sotto voce) I think I know why everyone warned me about you all!
HostSpinny: But you didn't listen, did you? I didn't quite learn my lesson last year.
CatLady126: (leaning into the conversation) Even the dog tried to warn us!
BBV55: Did you hear the one about the guy in the bar...
KAMZz: ::giggle::
Escargotte: (calling to Squid n2 down the length of the table) Squiddie, come take a picture of my new snail pin from Tiffany's! On second thought, take a picture of Vern wearing it.
(She takes off the pin and stabs it into Vern's t-shirt... and his chest)
VSCLEM: Ouch! Careful Escie! I didn't survive almost being run over by Toonie to be stabbed to death! (wincing) 
Duckbunni: Squid, I want a copy of that picture when it's developed. (jumping in alarm when a flying piece of popcorn drops neatly down her shirt) Hey! Who just threw that popcorn at me??
Courtzie: (casting a suspicious glance around the table) Looked more like ice to me.
AlfrmCal: (to no one in particular) There once was a girl from Nantucket...
LatteLady7: (grumbling) Now we'll never get the band to play "Fever".
Toonces464: Well, now that I've seen Waldo, it's time for me to weave my way to bed. Goodbye Havenites, it's been real! (She stands, waving vigorously, and stumbles down the stairs and out of the bar)
KAMZz: ::giggle::

Fade to black

~ SING US A SONG... ~
By Kerrry1 and Quixotik1

Had TNTsmile been able to track down a karaoke bar for us in Vegas, we imagine the following numbers would've been performed:

Al frm Cal - Warm California Nights

ANewLesMiz - She Can't Find Her Keys (Did she check with Bob?)

CatLady - Walkin' My Cat Named Dog 

ChicagoGal - The Night Chicago Died

Courtzie - You Must Have Been A Beautiful (Beanie) Baby

Duckbunni - I Saw Linda Yesterday 

Escargotte - I Want A Man With A Slooow Hand

EweBet - Louie, Louie/Wooly Bully Medley

Fiirefitr - Dancing In the Dark (You can't start a fiiiire, you cant' start a fiiire without a spark...)

HOST SuMeB - Please Help Me, I'm Falling

Host Roast - Kathy's Clown

Host Spinny - My Way

Hunnychile - Wild Thing

KAMZz - Maggie May

Kerrry1 - Let It Be Him

LatteLady7 - Fever 

Lattigo - (Loudly Humming) Hawaii Five-O

Linkdeb - Sweet Home Alabama

MrJaded - Runaway Train (How on earth did I get so jaded...) 

PaisleyToo - Steam Heat

Peakbagger - Bad Bad Leroy Brown

QueenLemmr - It Ain't Easy Being Green 

Quixotik1 - Dulcinea 

Rjaydee - Smile A Little Smile For Me, Rosemarie

SeaDenise - Splish Splash

Snazzey - I'm Just A Girl Who Can't Say No

Sotacrackr - Tennessee Waltz

Squid -Too Many Fish In the Sea

SummerLove - Wild Summer Nights

Tiggerbon - They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha Ha

TNTsmile - Rock & Roll All Night

Toonces464 - Only The Good Die Young

VSCLEM - I've Got Friends In Low Places

Wheatie - Nashville Cats

Wizzrobe - Baby You Can Drive My Car

YellowAlso - Mellow Yellow

~ REFLECTIONS OF VEGAS ~
by PaisleyToo

Not only was this the first time I had attended a large AOL/Paradise gathering, it was my first visit to Las Vegas. I had met about 10 of the folks at previous small gatherings over the last two years, but never as large and varied a group as assembled in Vegas :) 

Hats off to Toonces464 for all her organizing and planning - she put together just the right mix of group activities and free time. The Friday night cocktail party gave us the opportunity to meet each other and exchange in person hugs instead of the usual online {{ }}. After we had to leave the banquet room, a group of us met at one of the hotel's bars and listened to a live band and partied hearty. Thanks to Rjaydee, LatteLady7, and Toonces, we were treated to dances of the 60's, suggestive personal dances and loud sing-a-longs. Saturday was spent combining personal things on my own agenda and seeing folks at night - early in the morning I hit a local tattoo parlor then had lunch with a family friend. Saturday night I joined a group of seven folks to go to the Strastosphere and up to the top of the Tower - the view blew me away. It's like the world drops off into nothingness at the far end of the lights. Then back at the hotel I partied, drank, and sang along with the others at two different hotel clubs - I even got up and danced to the disco bands songs. Sunday I went briefly to the brunch, but had to leave to begin my long travel home via bus and Amtrak cross country . 

I had a wonderful time, and look forward to the next one :)

~ BASH ROUNDTABLE ~
by Rjaydee

Roundtable Panel: LL: LatteLady7; PT: PaisleyToo; AL: Al frm Cal; QX: Quixotik1

What was your favorite part of the bash?
LL: sharing a few quiet drinks and polite conversation with the other "shy, reserved women"

PT: meeting everyone Friday nite

AL: I really enjoyed the excitement of the cocktail party on Friday night when I got to first meet everyone. 

QX: Gambling lots.

What was your least favorite part of the bash?
LL: being railroaded into imbibing a few shots of cuervo gold followed by a very loud telephone ringer the next morning

PT: departing so early on Sunday

AL: I felt that all the name tag switching at the beginning was way too confusing. No problem with all the new SNs that were passed around...but messing around with the real names was not too fun

QX: sitting in that noisy bar

What would you do different next time?
LL: dye my hair old-lady blue, invest in some "sensible" shoes and hang out with the geritol-for-lunch-bunch from some retirement home...and carry a smaller purse; my shoulder is killing me!

PT: 2 things...get a tower room & stay longer

AL: I would try to spend more time with some of the people I didn't get a chance to see very much of this time.

QX: Come a day earlier or stay later.

What would you do the same?
LL: admit that rjay and i are indeed sisters (mom and dad sold her to the gypsies at a very young age), shower frequently, and talk about snazzey behind her back <g>

PT: get another tattoo :)

AL: I would stay up as late as I did and drink as much as I did so as to maximize the amount of time I spent having fun.

QX: Win, I hope LOL

What memory will recall as the funniest memory of the bash?
LL: rjay entertaining bash attendees, bartenders, the band and most likely casino security with her "go-go" dancing

PT: showing my tattoo off at the Trax Bar Saturday nite

AL: way too many to single out one...but Rjay and lap dancing sure do come to my mind <eg>

QX: Rjay doing anything (g)

What person who was missing, would you most like to see at the next bash?
LL: host delune

PT: next time I hope Eve (KyLady323/HostJelly) can be there

AL: definitely MoooHaHa

QX: JiLilliput

What person was the biggest surprise and why?
LL: stinkdeb...cuz she's a lot quieter than i figured she'd be...and she didn't get arrested or anything

PT: KamZz--cute as a button and very friendly

AL: Rjaydee was the most surprising to me because I had this impression of her in my mind where she was this little old lady type person...kind of like a cross between a spinster school teacher and nun.

QX: Rjay. 

What person was the least surprising and why? 
LL: toonces464...some personalities are so deviant you just can't hide them

PT: Toonces because I knew she was wild already :) 

AL: I don't like this question, therefore I will not answer it 

QX: Rjay (g)

~ TOP 15 MOST SURPRISING PLACES HAVENITES WERE FOUND ~
by Linkdeb

From the home office in Alabama, with a banjo on her knee...

15. Hunnychile, in the MGM Casino Control Booth, demanding all casino workers report immediately to pick up their new name badges.

14. Fiireftr, at the local fire house, ordering all firefighters to rhyme every phrase before sliding down the pole.

13. Escargotte, on the Strip, dressed in car racing attire, pushing Al frm Cal down the middle of the street in a casino lounge chair.

12. YellowAlso, at M&M World, yelling "But I AM the Yellow one!"

11. Kerrry1, watching Huey Lewis and the News, thinking they were the opening act for Paul Revere and the Raiders.

10. SeaDenise, sitting in the middle of the 12 acre fountain, yelling something about this being her VAT.

9. Quixotik, on top of the Stratosphere, trying his best to *pull* it forward and yelling "Come on Momma, let those nickels fly!"

8. Wizzrobe, sleeping in the Men's Room at the Iron Horse Cafe.

7. HostSpinny, Host Roast and KAMZz, at Circus Circus, dressed in long sequined gowns, exclaiming that they were the New Supremes.

6. SusanB26a, partcipating in the Caesar's Palace floor show, in an attempt to hide herself from being embarrased on her birthday.

5. Courtzie, splattered in the middle of the Strip, after being hit by a shuttle bus being driven by Elvis.

4. LatteLady7, in jail, trying to explain that why 12 slot machines, 3 roulette wheels, and a sexy Tom Jones impersonator were all found in her purse.

3. Wheatboy, fondling naked mermaid statues in the Mirage.

2. Lattigo, selling thong bikinis, on the corner of the Strip and Sahara, in front of the huge TOON TOWN sign.

1. Mr. Jaded, on stage at the Palace Station lounge, wearing a 70's afro and playing Harmony.

The BashGram™ is a special supplement to The 'Gram, the official
newsletter of the Game Haven. If you'd like to be added to our subscription list, please send e-mail to Toonces464.